In spite of a pretty productive day yesterday, it proved to be a tough one mentally. There were lots of positives: a Crash read-through and work on its sequel; drafting “C”; planning work on a possible companion project; various other bits-and-pieces including prep for tomorrow’s Stanza meeting; deciding TikTok isn’t for me (regardless of BookTok).
So why the struggle?
Two main reasons. The first is a nagging question about wanting to write something different, fresh, innovative; a concern that turning the same old wheel gains me nothing. I’ve just finished reading Joelle Taylor’s C+nto which is probably as different as it comes, and I can’t help but see Crash in a similar – though less extreme – light. My conventionality worries me, especially when not enough people are buying my books to confirm that what I’m doing is worthwhile.
And the second reason is all about time and how many truly productive days I have left as a writer. 12,000? 4,000? Less? Marry that up with the first question, well… you can see how it might preoccupy someone.
So I awake on this Monday morning facing into those two questions, knowing that the way through them is to be brave and committed. Perhaps that’s a start. Perhaps I need to be in that place before I answer the first question – because there isn’t much I can do about the second!
So today? No prizes for guessing. Push on with “C” and hope for inspiration elsewhere; some kind of epiphany or revelation.
Perhaps this is where feedback from readers is the most important; not to tell you how brilliant you are, but that you’re on the right lines, not wasting your time… Read the books, tell me what you think…
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Links: (books for sale on Waterstones.com, Amazon (US), Amazon (UK), Barnes & Noble etc. Some e-books also available direct from Coverstory books.
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Ian Gouge - Writer 